university of stars

2012-01-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

hello everybody, please go to my new blog --> www.ancientlabyrinths.blogspot.com
there will be more interesting posts there :-) and i wont be updating this blog anymore. :-)

2012-01-05T01:13:00.000-08:00

hi (: i have created a new blog, you can visit it just by clicking this (:
i will start blogging there from now onwards (:

memories.... what are they?

2011-10-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

well, does it? maybe quite right. have you ever cherished a moment? or do you treasure memories? have you ever regretted something that you have done? yes, no? why does something become a memory? perhaps God wants us to reflect back upon the past? perhaps we will see the whole situation in a totally new different light? perhaps we will forgive the person who done us wrong? by forgiving, we are actually helping ourselves. by forgiving others, we are actually forgiving ourselves. why make yourself full of hatred by not forgiving somebody? forgive them, as well as forgive yourself (: learn. learn to forgive&forget. that's what we're living for. to learn. to learn, how to forgive. how to forget....
i know, you must be thinking: easier said than done, right? no no, im not judging. im just jogging down what i am thinking ( no offence, please! :D ) well, im not just opening my mouth to talk encouraging crap. im really trying to forgive someone. im trying to forgive myself. why am i forgiving myself then? because to forgive others, i have to first forgive myself. what use is there to forgive others if i cant even forgive myself? so i shall start sweetening my self-talk, stop having negative thoughts, and try to be happy everyday ( not acting happy. it is try to be happy. real happy. and how do i do this? i shall laugh at jokes, even when they are not really funny. i shall try to smile at everyone, even those whom i dont like, i shall......) and today, i shall start my little mission and try to live happily (:

Live life happily (: dont frown (:

emotional changes.

2011-10-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

its saddening. saddening to see loners wandering about in malls, with a depressed expression on their faces. friends. what are friends? people who backstab you at the back? or those walking worthless two-face pennies? dont despise those people who are bad. instead pity them. hasn't you ever backstabbed other people before? or hasn't you been a hypocrite before? everybody has had some experiences being a backstabber, a hypocrite or even a betrayer. no no, dont get the wrong idea, i dont blame you (: dont judge before you get to the bottom of each matter. some people get jealous of others because they feel insecure. always remember: everybody has weaknesses, even the strongest people.

dearest trusted God, i believe in you i really do (: i love you too, with my heart. i cant say its the whole of my heart because if it is really like that, i would be lying. although i hasn't reached the state where i will love you with my whole heart, i will trust you with the whole of my heart, dear god, i dont doubt about your ability or your kindness.although sometimes i do have small doubts about you, i quickly brush them away, please dont be angry at my actions. i am sorry for doubting you and i hope you can forgive me for being immature and not understanding what you have done for us, humans. you have done a lot for us, most of it i am unable to accomplish but i will be grateful to you for the rest of my life, the rest of my days. dear god, until the day where i can love you with all of my heart, the day until i can meet you, the day until i can understand you, and the day when i can also have your compassion for humans, whether good or bad, i will believe in you with the whole of my heart (:

be happy, cheer up. remember, when a door closes, another one opens up. it's just that we are too focused on the closed door that we dont notice that another one had opened (:

Live life well.

will you be there, when i need you...?

2011-10-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

do you have this person you go to when you make terrible mistake? this person you can trust with your darkest secrets? well, i have one, she is really a good person. too bad i didn't treasure her the last time, i thought she was whiny and i really hated her. i abandoned her and hung out with other people. they aren't as caring or trustworthy as her. soon i came to realise that it was the worst mistake to leave her. i really missed her alot. then, we patched up.
anyw, thank you for being forgiving and all, i really love you alot. thanks for not despising me when i told you my darkest secret, thanks for understanding me and not judging me. thanks for consoling me and not leaving me. thanks for all the encouragement, thanks for all the time you spent with me. thanks for not blaming me when you had to gorge food down your throat in just 5min because i wanted you to listen to my weepings. thanks for standing up for me. thanks for caring, and most importantly, thanks for forgiving me time and again, thanks for forgetting all the mistakes that i made. thanks for everything. thanks for trusting me. thanks, for giving me hope and almost all the joys in the world (:

I <3 you, alot.

an obsession of the windows

2011-10-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

firstly, i just want to say reality's a real freak. society. what do you think of when you see this word? thin girls trying to get anorexic thin? or do you see teenagers, looking all tired because they were trying to fit in? into the perfect 'adult word', also known as 'society'? well, i see myself everyday, tryin to fit in, not expressing my real feelings, putting a real fake smile on my face and laughing with everybody else. i might look happy, but then, how do you know when you cant read my mind? whatever, anyw i cant please anyone, ever.
example
me: *exam-easy*
friend: do you think the exam was difficult?
scenario 1- sayin that the exam was easy ( expressing real feelings)
me: easy luh, you?
friend: aiya, you dont kekkek( act act) luh, i know you very clever luh no need to boast luh!
scenario 2 - saying that the exam was ok (neutral)
me: okok lor
friend: chey, so easy you also think is hard!
scenario 3 - (saying that it was hard and trying to please others)
me: hard.
friend: aiya, given your standard, surely very easy one luh!
so what do you expect me to do? suddenly have superpowers and read your minds or what. i cant please anyone ever. nevermind fine im a nobody.
secondly, obsession of the windows. i didn;t mean the Windows software, i meant the real windows you see in your house. so, the question is , can the people of the opposite block be able to see you? ive been asking everybody about this question, but im still not comfirmed . i find myself weird, obsessing with almost every type of window, asking myself if people from the outside can see us or not. am i mental or what anyw i cant find the answer just by obsessing so i shall try to control myself and dont think to much.
get some mental rest for my brain, dont let it work too much. im already having a little mental breakdown. ok, shall catch some sleep now, dontw to sleep too late, shall kick this bad habit of sleeping late everyday.
another long and nonsensical post.

and the time came, the risk to stay in the bud was bigger than the risk it took to bloom and blossom

2011-10-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

here here, see? a bouquet of beautiful flowers! (: im really proud of nature. nature is really beautiful, flowers can bloom even in the hardest of times. they dont give up on themselves, they continue to persevere and there! they changed from a little bud to a blooming flower. flowers cant talk, but at least they are not lazy like humans isn't it? they bloom into a beautiful flower, and give humans hope, tbut in the end, when they wither and die, some heartless humans dont even care a whit about them, throw it away in the dustbin and gone, they disappear from their little minds. humans really do amaze me, including myself...
this post is full of nonsense actually.